Monograph - 5
Popular Culture versus the Individual:
BUYING A CAR
Buying a car is an unforgettable experience. Actually, just being in the market for a car is an unforgettable experience. As soon as one decides they need to purchase a car, all those advertisements for vehicle dealerships seem to jump out like never before. In the past, those ads just blended with the rest of the gibberish on the radio but now they not only demand attention, they also start to make sense in a very strange way. They begin to rent space somewhere way back in the corners of the brain. It sounds so easy to buy a car. It seems that dealerships are always 'conveniently located', according to their ad (even if they are 70 miles away). It sounds like the whole process of buying a car can be done in about 15 minutes, round trip. Sure, anybody can buy a car. Maybe even a baby could buy a car.
Hey you! Have bad credit? No credit? No problem! There's no problem at all. Just stroll right in and test-drive a brand new Isuzu M-320. No money? No life? It's not a problem. No money down! Your new car will enable you to gain access to unlimited social support networks. Instead of being just famous, you will also become popular in your new car. Hurry because these prices won't last! Come on in and don't worry because we have 'no hassle' sales people that won't pressure you into anything (except buying a car).
Don't be concerned about whether you will be able to pay for your new car. That's really not our problem. Once you drive it off the lot, it's the bank's problem. Don't forget about APR financing, low down payments, and no-extra-charge optional accessories. Call our 1-800 number for directions. Apply for our optional 7 year / 70,000 mile bumper-to-bumper warrantee. Trade in your old car now for a great deal. Drive it in, tow it in, or get it here any way you can! These prices can't be beat! We have thousands of new and pre-owned cars, trucks, SUVs, and minivans.
All we want is warm bodies so we can unload thousands of pounds of steel and plastic to each and every one of you. All we want is for these condominiums-on-wheels to be in someone else's name besides ours. If these cars sit on our property for one more day, it will mean an increase in our insurance premiums. So come on out to our once-in-a-lifetime Columbus Day sale as fast as you can before time runs out. Plus, we have a free give-away contest. You could win two round trip airline tickets to Bermudahama just for stopping inside. No purchase necessary for participation. Strict rules, limitations, and regulations apply. You must be over the age of 18 or 21 or 95 to enter. Tax, tags, and title are extra. Sale may be subject to expire without notice. Offer not valid in New Jersey, Maryland, Wyoming, Virgin Islands, Nevada, South Dakota, or Guam. This offer is limited to participating dealers only. Don't worry about the fine print! These deals can't be beat... and WE finance! Hurry!
As a teenager, it was easy to get caught up in all the hype. I knew I could have worked during the weekends to make money for a car and still go to school during the week. Plus, I already had some money for a down payment on a new car. However, I figured I would just forget all the slick deals on new cars and take an old Pontiac Bonneville for $500 that my dad offered to buy for me. It was my first car, and it was a bit big for an inexperienced teenage driver. The seat was stuck all the way back as far as it would go so I sat kind of slouched down and poked my head just above the steering wheel. The dashboard lights that were supposed light up the speedometer and other gauges were not working at all. So, I took the whole dashboard apart and wired it with an old set of Christmas lights. I blew quite a few fuses trying to get the thing rigged up. It was a lot of trial and error but I had to do something about it because I needed to see how fast I was going at night.
The paint was peeling off and parts were starting to rust, so I took some gray oil based paint that was sitting in my basement for at least 20 years and hand painted the whole car with rollers and paint-brushes. It also had its fair share of mechanical problems but I'm one of those people that can 'fix' things. I actually had more fun taking that car apart and putting it back together than I ever had driving it. I hooked up a CB radio and a huge antenna on the trunk so I could chat with truck drivers on the turnpike. I also installed a police scanner so I could hear everything the police said. To this day, I don't know if that thing was legal, but it was very interesting to hear everything the police did. Most of it never made the newspapers in what was supposed to be a 'quiet' community.
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I joined a local town watch association but they restricted me to a junior membership, which meant I had to drive around with an adult while on patrol in the community. The town watch membership didn't last long because I got bored with it. I was, by far, the youngest member, and it was difficult to bond with a group that was three times my age. I also noticed they spent more time taking breaks in coffee shops and fast-food joints than they spent patrolling the streets. Besides, I didn't want to spend all my time driving around within the 17 square mile patrol jurisdiction. My car used a lot of gas so I felt like I was wasting money driving around to all the ever-familiar coffee shops and diners. I wanted to drive down to see the city and see the far off rural areas too.
So many people in my high school made fun of my car but I loved it. Surprisingly, I laughed along with them because I had to admit that it really was a funny looking vehicle, which was also noticeably large. It was easy to laugh along with them because just having an automobile was a status symbol at that age. Half the kids weren't old enough to drive. Others didn't have the ability to get money for a car, and some simply did not have the motivation or maturity needed to earn a driver's license.
It was truly an amazing car because the suspension systems in the old Bonnevilles were so well designed that the ride was literally smoother than my grandfather's Cadillac. I had the car for a year and then sold it with all the options I added. The car sold for $475, fully equipped with specialized features such as dashboard Christmas lights, a botched tinted window job, blue velour seats that I tried to dye black (but turned out purple), a home made AM/FM radio antenna, and a CB radio that actually worked at one time. I kept the police scanner for my next car.
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