Raw Psychology Index - Home
Section - 18d
Queries on Sexual Maladies:
PRIVATE MEDICAL ISSUES
How do I know if I need to see a doctor?
1) If you are in pain. Some mild to moderate pain may temporarily occur after vigorous or frequent sex/masturbation but it should go away. Pain that is severe needs to be checked out. You have to be the judge of it!
2) Rashes that are unexplainable. Regular sex or masturbation causes no physical difference to the penis or vagina. But vigorous masturbation or sex may cause irritation. Lubrication during sexual activity may help cure this. However, rashes that last longer than a few days should be checked out.
3) Bumps or lumps in the breasts, vagina, scrotum, or testicles. It's a good idea to do routine self-examinations.
4) Any problems with penis foreskin, cervix, vaginal opening, or inside the vulva.
5) Any development questions you may have about puberty, body growth, or development.
6) Inability to urinate.
7) Inability to get or maintain an erection or achieve orgasm (post-puberty).
8) Premature ejaculation, very painful erection, or pain when urinating.
9) Possibility of sexually transmitted disease.
10) Any other question to which you can't find the answer.
There should be no need to be shy about asking a doctor about these personal problems. I've had to ask my doctor about a few personal things in the past. It never ended up being nearly as embarrassing as I thought it would have been. Medical doctors have treated so many cases of sexual ailments that they are not surprised by your questions or concerns. Doctors get questions all the time about impotence, puberty, sexuality, sex, pains, and ejaculations. Don't be afraid to ask.
When ejaculation happens, my testicles are not outside my body.
They go into my body. Am I normal?
If your testicles are truly going up inside your body, please talk to a physician and ask about it. It may or may not be normal depending on what is actually happening. I can't say for sure without seeing you but it sounds like it could be a serious medical issue. Many times, the testicles do move upward during ejaculation. However, if they have disappeared or are not fully descended, you may have a problem with the lower abdominal area.
I'm having problems retracting the foreskin on my penis. Sometimes it hurts.
There may be no problem at all. However, the concern you are having might be a complication called phimosis, paraphimosis, or balanopothitis. These are all similar conditions where an infection that causes the uncircumcised foreskin to produce a tight band of skin, called a phimotic ring, just behind its end that makes retraction over the glans very difficult and sometimes painful. Sometimes, it's treated as a medical emergency that requires immediate attention. It's impossible to say whether you have a problem without an examination.
Is it true that both young males and older males should examine their testicles for cancer? How is this done?
Yes, all males should check for problems in their penis and testicles. Testicular cancer is most common in young men but can happen at any age. If found early, the chance for a cure is good. To inspect, you should feel around the testicles with the thumb and fingers for any hard, pea sized growths. Do not be concerned about smaller hair follicle pores on the skin of the scrotum. Be careful not to confuse the normal connective tissue of the testicles for cancer. Any cancerous growth should be obvious and on the surface of the testicle itself. Even if you find a growth, it may not be cancer so don't get upset too soon. Check with a doctor if you think there is a problem.
I'm having problems getting/maintaining an erection. Is there anything I can do?
There are several different things that can be done for erectile dysfunction. Definitely see a doctor. It's a very common problem. In most cases the inability to maintain an erection is due to a physical problem. However, you may have to look into the possibility of a psychological issue preventing him from getting a proper erection. The best way to tell if you have a psychological problem with erections is to quit sex/masturbation for 2-4 days or so. In the morning (or during the night when you wake up), see if you ever have an erection. Although men do not always have erections when they wake up, they will, from time to time, notice that their penis is erect regardless of any sexual dream or thought upon awakening. If you can sometimes get erections in the night/morning but not when you desire an erection before sex, then it is most likely the case that you have a psychological issue such as 'performance anxiety' or 'fear of inadequacy'. These issues can often be treated though counseling and/or self-help literature.
If you find that erections are not possible or sufficient when you immediately wake up as described above, you may have a physical problem causing the dysfunction. There are several things that can be done to overcome a physical erectile issue.
If you can get an erection but have difficulty maintaining it, the issue is usually a venous flow problem. A venous flow problem occurs when there is enough blood getting to the penis to cause an erection but it flows out of the penis as fast as it can get into the shaft. The easiest treatment is the use of tourniquet on the base of the penis that holds the blood in the shaft until the latex tool is loosened. Usually people get these items from a doctor or urologist. Over-the-counter items, often called 'cock rings' may also work quite well.
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If you cannot get an erection at all, there may be a problem with blood flow into the penis. The usual treatment for this is a Viagra prescription. Viagra is an oral medication (pill) that is taken about 60 minutes before sexual activity. It inhibits an enzyme in the bloodstream, which allows for an increased rate of blood flow to the erectile tissue in the penis. If Viagra does not work, subcavernous injection is another way of dealing with erection problems. This involves injecting a medicine into the erectile tissue that runs along the top of his penis, (the corpus cavernosa). The injection of a chemical alters blood vessels and valves in the penis, which allows an increased blood flow thereby increasing the likelihood of a firm erection. The needles are tiny and the injections quick and nearly painless. I'd be surprised if there isn't already a newer drug on the market in competition with Viagra that can be taken orally.
Another possible solution is surgery. I'm not even going to try to explain all the details of surgery because it should be something you should talk about with your doctor. However, I do know that many men have been able to regain erection capability through a surgical procedure.
Most doctors say erection dysfunction is usually a physical problem rather than a psychological problem. It's important to work with a doctor(s) when trying to solve an erectile problem. Once again, I must mention to beware of quick-fix-gimmick-ads you may read in magazines for pills, herbs, creams, or lotions that promise to correct your difficulty. As far as I know, none of these are proven to work. I do not recommend purchasing medications such a Viagra online or through magazines. It can be dangerous to the body or penis. It's also very easy to get ripped off.
Section - 18e
How much masturbation is too much?
This is probably the most frequently asked question about masturbation. There is no simple answer. Someone could masturbate to orgasm four times per day but only spend about one hour doing it. On the other hand, someone else could masturbate only one orgasm per day but spend four hours doing it. The person spending four hours every day for sexual self-gratification may be neglecting other responsibilities or simply missing out on the other good parts of life. But basically, if it's just time you would have been spending watching TV, playing video games, or trying to fall asleep, it is not usually a problem. However, if you are spending hours and hours laying around masturbating every day, it's probably getting in the way of other things you should be doing.
We must first ask: "What should I be doing instead of masturbating?" Masturbation is only an addiction if it is getting in the way of our other daily activities such as work, school, hobbies, chores, family, friends, or experiencing other aspects of life. Even people that masturbate a lot (multiple times per day) are usually able to quit long enough to carry out everything else they need to get done in their lives. Just because someone masturbates every day (or more than once a day) does not necessarily mean they're are an addict.
A sexual or masturbation addiction is very different from a drug addiction because sex is a natural instinct that can occur daily with no negative consequences. On the other hand, if you are isolating yourself from everyone all the time and/or failing to meet your daily responsibilities, then it may be advisable to cut down. Sometimes professional therapy is necessary.
1) It's too much masturbation if someone is neglecting friends and/or responsibilities so they can spend more time masturbating.
2) It's too much if they are always thinking about masturbating again right after they just did it.
3) It's too much (or the wrong way) if the penis/vagina is often raw and irritated from friction.
4) It's too much if it is somehow affecting the overall quality of life.
Some other activities that have been known to help cut down on idle time are: making platonic friends with someone else, visiting relatives, swimming, therapy, finding a hobby or interest, running, rollerblading, and arm wrestling. (If you arm wrestle a few times a day, you're guaranteed cut down on masturbation!) I must also not forget to mention the reality of a possible spiritual solution.
I'm a 30 year old man and physically fit. From the age of 15, I used to find satisfaction from masturbation, almost daily. Recently I got married, but when away from my wife, I masturbate. Is masturbation harmful to health? Will this cause premature aging or infertility?
Most married men continue to masturbate throughout their lives because it was a major part of their sexuality since a very young age. Often, even those with fulfilling sex lives masturbate. Many men consider sex and masturbation two separate needs.
You mentioned you masturbate when you are away from your wife. Regular release of semen is necessary for all men who have gone through puberty regardless of age. The prostate produces semen to mix with sperm for transportation out of the body. The prostate continually produces fluids, as do other glands in the reproductive system. These need to be released from the body. This can happen in one of three ways. (1) Sex (2) Masturbation or (3) Nocturnal Emissions (wet dreams while sleeping). They are all equally healthy yet many people still think of masturbation as a taboo topic because of the things we can consciously fantasize about while doing it.
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Often people get upset about masturbation because they may tend to fantasize about adulterous affairs, premarital sex, or homosexual activity. As you can imagine, some religious leaders condemn the practice of masturbation for these reasons. However, there should be no fear of infertility or any other physical health related issue. Personally, I wouldn't worry about any of the possible fantasy issues that I mentioned above either because they usually do not mean we would actually do these things in real life. Human beings are biological creatures with active imaginations. This does not mean we will necessarily act on our dreams or masturbation thoughts.
How can I suck my own penis while masturbating?
The technique you are asking about is called 'auto-fellatio'. Some people can naturally do this because they are either flexible enough to reach or their penis is very long. There are also those who have had their lower ribs surgically removed so they could do this (so I'm told). If you want to look into this further, try searching for these keywords on the Internet: autofellatio, auto-fellatio, monosexual. However, it's important to mention that it could be harmful to the spine, ribs, and other inner-organs if you try to force your body into an unnatural position.
My sister and me masturbate together. Is that incest?
Sometimes brothers masturbate together and I seriously doubt they consider it incest. I assume the same would be true for two sisters. However, I imagine the situation would be a bit more complex if it was a brother and a sister masturbating together. I'm not sure I would call it incest but a brother and a sister masturbating together would not be something I would encourage. It would be way too easy for things to get out of hand. Further experimentation between opposite sexes, such as more intense sexual conduct, might be more likely than with two brothers or two sisters. Something like incest between a brother and a sister may not be too far down the road if it begins with simple masturbation.
I would say that for the situation to be considered 'incest' per se, it would have to involve something more intimate and violative such as sexual intercourse. At least a court of law would see it that way - I'm almost sure. The Merriam-Webster Collegiate Dictionary defines 'incest' as: "...sexual intercourse between persons so closely related that they are forbidden by law to marry."
Masturbation does not qualify as 'sexual intercourse'. But I would recommend being very careful and think about what your doing. It becomes very easy to explore further once you have gotten that comfortable with one another - especially if you are male and she is female. A relationship that does include incest becomes very complex and psychologically profound in the American Culture.
How do I quit masturbation?
Masturbation is not necessarily something that should be quit. Masturbation is a normal occurrence, particularly for males who have started (or have already gone though) puberty. Basically, the same thing is true for females with some variation in frequency.
As far as religion goes, there is no place in the Bible that says a person should *never* masturbate. As far as physical and mental health goes, it does no harm if it's done moderately. There are, however, some problems that can occur which have chronic masturbation as a symptom. Things like pornography or sex are addictive in some individuals. These two things can and often do involve excessive masturbation. An addiction occurs when there is an obsession with something. If you are obsessed with something, it means that you are so involved with it that it's getting in the way of your other daily activities such as work, school, time spent with friends/family, chores, or other duties. So unless the masturbation is obsessive and taking up too much of your time, then it shouldn't be a problem. If you feel like you are spending too much time masturbating, then you have to find other things to occupy your time such as work/school related activities, weight lifting, skateboarding, friends, sports, hobbies, church, prayer, community organizations, YMCA, etc. If you find that you still cannot control your masturbation, psychological therapy should be sought.
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Some people do not masturbate at all, some do it once a week, or once a day, or more than once a day. Frequency of masturbation varies very much from person to person. The only time it's a problem is if it is getting in the way of other events, activities, or responsibilities in a person's life. It takes sincere and rigorous honesty with yourself to be able to determine if it really is a problem.
I am new to masturbating; does semen leave any discoloration or odor on clothing or sheets?
Yes. It's best to clean it up. Or you could just make sure to get the semen on already dirty clothing that is going to be washed before you wear it again (that is, of course, if you do your own laundry). Although there is nothing dangerous about dried semen, it can leave a white, yellowish, or brownish stain. I remember when I was younger not much semen came out because I was still developing but as I got older, the amount of semen got to be more than a tablespoon and I found that I had to be more careful.
You also asked about an odor. Some people say semen smells like pool chlorine or sweat. I think it's best to keep the area around the penis washed regularly so any semen that does get onto your body does not smell. Actually, some people's semen smells and some people's does not smell. They say it depends on diet, vitamins, and genetics.
At what ages is it normal for someone to begin and quit masturbating?
People have been known to masturbate from very early ages such as 3-4 years old but they do not have ejaculation of semen until they are about 11-15 years old. 'Masturbation' only means to stimulate your own genitals for pleasure. Even little kids do this to themselves sometimes. The first 'orgasm' and 'ejaculation' normally occur at the onset of puberty, which is usually between ages 11-15, but can it can begin earlier or later. Everyone is different. I've also heard of many cases of men and women who say they could have an orgasm, when they masturbated, long before they could ejaculate -- Even when younger than six years old.
Most people continue to masturbate well into their older years. According to surveys, most married individuals masturbate in varying frequencies ranging from once per day to once per month. Masturbation can continue up until the end of a person's life.
**Masturbation: Self-stimulation of one's own genitals for pleasure or release of sexual tension.
**Orgasm: A profound pleasurable feeling that occurs with the spasmodic release of muscular tension during the climax of sexual activity.
**Ejaculation: The flow or squirt of the white to yellowish liquid or jelly-like substance that occurs when a man reaches orgasm. This fluid carries the microscopic sperm, which enables fertilization of the female's egg.
Would you agree or disagree that patterns of masturbation are set early in life? Do you believe those patterns change depending on what is going on in one's own life at the time?
I think patterns and methods can change throughout life. Methods may change for a reason as simple as getting tired of the same-old-thing. Probably many men fall into a routine method preference, which they do not get tired of but others may feel a desire to be more creative or adventurous. As my website indicates, mine seems to change gradually over time. Patterns, (specifically frequency) is a more delicate issue. Frequency of masturbation can and ultimately will vary within the male's life depending on what else is going on around him. It can even change seasonally if his time typically spent outdoors in the warmer months has suddenly become sitting indoors waiting for the snow to melt. Frequent masturbation, relatively speaking, can also be a sign that a deeper social need is not being met, among other things.
For example, consider the following example of two males that do not have girlfriends:
Male-A has several other male friends, is extroverted, and is very cavalier since personal stress rarely bothers him.::
Male-B has only one male friend, is introverted, spends most time by himself, and has a great deal of personal stress.::
Male-A will most likely masturbate less than Male-B.
Since Male-A is busy almost every day, has a greater social network, and deals with anxiety better, he will most likely masturbate less often.
Male-B, on the other hand, is lonely, frequently bored, and may also use masturbation as a temporary anxiety treatment.
Sometimes when I am masturbating, I stick a small object in my anus. It gives me better stimulation during masturbation. I was wondering how far up I would have to go to reach my prostate. I have heard it's the male G-spot?
Personally, I don't think the prostate is really the male G-spot (at least for most men). I know for me it certainly isn't. Nowadays, the term 'G-Spot' is simply a slang term that some people use to describe their most sexually arousing area. Originally, the term 'G-Spot' was used by Dr. Ernest Gräfenberg in the title of one of his works which described a very sensitive and sexually stimulating area within the inside of the women's vagina. It seems the G-Spot (or Gräfenberg-Spot) has lost much of its original meaning when we hear the term used today. But it can be assumed that each man has his own opinion about where his G-spot is. Some say it is the underside of the head of the penis (the glans), some say is just below the testicles between the anus and the scrotum (the perineum), some say it's the anus, others say it is the prostate, and still others say it's something else.
To answer your question about how far in the prostate is, it's just within a couple of inches behind the rectum. The prostate is about the size of a walnut in a normal man, It can be felt by placing a finger in the anus and feeling along the inside wall for a round bulb. For some men, touching or rubbing this spot is extremely pleasurable. Some can even orgasm through this technique. Others do not like the feeling. Since it isn't very far, I'm sure you can reach it with a Sharpie marker. Just make sure you don't use any type of pen with a pointy edge because the intestinal lining is very sensitive and can easily tear causing anal bleeding.
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